Turning The Cows Out

Since we got married 5.5 years ago, we’ve dreamed about owning land for our cows. We saved and watched and skated by leasing 100 acres here and 30 acres there. In November, we finally bought our North Place. Last weekend, Ty finished building fence. Today, we turned our girls out on our very own grass. We’ve waited a long time for this view right here.

Virtual Communion

A tiny piece of wheat bread and apple juice in a medicine cup.

I listened to service online today from my college church and, as the church does every Sunday, they took communion. This week was different because there was no gathering, everyone was digging through their own cabinets to see what could serve as the elements to remember Jesus’ sacrifice for us.

It was beautiful. The thought of Jesus followers in homes all across Stillwater (and even other states like me) partaking in the imperfectly represented yet wholly meaningful body and blood of Jesus… It was beautiful.


And so, I have decided to make this a daily event in our house during this season. We will gather our bread and remember His broken body. We will pour our juice and remember his sacrificial blood. We will be grateful that while we may not be able to congregate in one place, we still can celebrate and practice and live out our faith.

Thanks be to God.

Loving Our Neighbors in the time of Corona Virus

I’ve been thinking a lot about how unaffected most of us really are by the current situation. We’re so fortunate and so busy thinking only about the minor inconveniences we are seeing that we forget for many of our neighbors there are far more serious issues. Let take a minute to stop thinking only of ourselves and think about and pray for those less fortunate than we are in this situation.

  • Those who cannot rush to the store to stock up before the shelves are empty because they have to wait for pay day. Will there be food left?
  • Those for whom businesses closing mean no paycheck. How will they feed their families?
  • Those for whom schools closing leave them with children to care for and jobs they they cannot take vacation from. Will they lose their jobs to ensure their children are safe?
  • Those for whom school meals are the only food they receive in a day. Will they go hungry?
  • Those with compromised immune systems, respiratory illnesses, or other medical issues that make contracting the virus a much more serious concern. Will they survive?
  • Those who took an oath to always care for the sick. Will they be infected?

Lastly…an offer from my home to yours. If you need help, please let us know. Seriously.

What Are We Teaching Them?

It’s been a crazy day with the cancellation of the Houston Stock Show. People are upset and disappointed, rightfully so. These families invested time, money, and effort into these animals and I can’t imagine how I would have felt today. I love a show as much as anyone.

But…I just keep thinking about the point of the junior livestock program, which has to be to teach kids about life more so than teaching them about stock shows. In life, like today, they’ll be thrown curve balls. Are we teaching them how to react well?

I hope we will think about it and remember they are watching and learning as we go forward.

Just Show Up

It’s been a hard week for a lot of people in my life. Absolutely heartbreaking, shocking, unexpected things have happened.

It’s has me thinking a lot about how to support people going through hard seasons. I never have the words and I always worry about saying the wrong ones. Sometimes that can leave me get long frozen in an attempt not to make it worse with my big mouth.

I have decided that I think the thing to do is just to show up. To physically show up in hard places like hospitals and gravesides. To show up in text messages that may start with “I don’t even know what to say.” To show up with care packages in the mail or flower deliveries across the country. To show up at the gates of Heaven with prayers to intercede for those who may not have the strength to pray for themselves. To show up with casseroles it wine or a six-pack.

You don’t have to say the right thing or send the perfect gift or offer any answers…just show up.

School Parties

I hate school parties.

Yes, I said it.

As I finished putting together the Dollar Store valentines for my kids, I was reminded how grateful I am for women who are different than me. Women who live for things like school parties (cough my friend Lyndse! cough) and who have worked for weeks to make these events special for all the kids in the class. They make my kids’ lives better and I am grateful for their gifts.

One day, I’ll try to return the favor by helping their kids prep for a speech contest or writing a recommendation letter on my fancy letterhead.

One thing I will never do is compare or guilt them for living into their callings. It takes a village and women with all different gifts. We need every one of us living into ours to make this all work. Remember that.

Remembering my Visit to Auschwitz

In honor of the anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, I am sharing posts I wrote several years ago after visiting.

Most people who heard that I was going to Auschwitz said that they did not know if they could do it; that it would just be too hard.  And it was hard.  And eerie.  Unbelievably so, really.  But I honestly think that this is something that every person should see.

Auschwitz Summary:  Beautiful, heartbreaking, eerie, quiet, people just like you and me.

As I stepped off the bus at Auschwitz, I was immediately stricken by how beautiful the camps were located.  The middle of rural Poland, with green grass and rolling hills, trees and purple flowers.  But inside the fences occurred the worst, most systematic genocide in history.  Maybe it was appropriate, this juxtaposition between the beauty of God’s creation on the outside, and proof of the horrific way that humans can ruin that within the gates.

When you approach Auschwitz, the first thing you see is the front gate, which holds the message, “Work will set you free.”  This was only one of the cruel mind games played upon the prisoners by the Nazis.  The former buildings and barracks have been turned into museums to remember the 1.2 (plus) million people killed in this place.

There are stark reminders about the lives lost here.  Men, women, children.  Jews, Christians.  Doctors, lawyers, farmers, teachers, professors.  Before the camp was opened as a museum, survivors of the camp and family members of the dead were contacted and most supported the opening of the camp in order to show people what happened here.  In Poland, all children are required to visit when they turn 14.

Monument next to the pond where ashes remain
Urn holding ashes of those killed in the crematorium.
Something I did not fully understand is that most of those killed were never prisoners at Auschwitz.  Most arrived and were sent directly go the gas chambers to be killed.  They were never checked in, never tattooed, never prisoners.  Instead, they stepped off of the train with their belongings, after being told they were simply being “relocated”, sent to the showers, and killed.  This was true for most people who were not deemed able to work, meaning that the children, elderly, and most women were immediately killed upon arrival.

Those who did not meet this fate became Auschwitz prisoners.  One of the buildings has all of the mug shots lined up on a wall.  Most of the prisoners lasted only about 2 months at Auschwitz before they died, either from being shot, starvation, or being worked to death. 

In Building 11, known as the Death House, is the cell in which St. Maximillian Kolbe gave his life in order to save another man.  When a prisoner at Auschwitz escaped, 10 more were executed.  When a man  who had a family was selected to be one of the 10, St. Maximillian Kolbe offered to take his place.  He was placed, along with the other nine men, into a starvation cell for two weeks.  When the door was opened, 9 men were dead.  Only the Saint survived.  He was then shot and killed.  The man whose place he took?  He survived Auschwitz.  St. Maximillian Kolbe saved his life.  Seeing the cell where this happened, and flowers placed next to a statue with his name on it was incredibly moving.

 Just outside building 11 is the wall where many prisoners were shot to death by firing squad. 

One of the eeriest experiences for me was walking into the only remaining gas chamber.  Of the 5 gas chambers, the Nazis destroyed 4 before fleeing the camps.  Only one remains.  Photos are permitted inside, although speaking is not in order to honor the memory of those killed.  I could not bring myself to take photos of such an awful place.  You walk into the room where the people were killed.  You can see the “showerheads” on the wall, which were there only to make plausible the story that everyone undressed and piled into the room to take a shower. In the next room were giant furnaces where bodies were burned (after all hair being shaved and gold teeth being removed).  It was a horrific thing to see and to feel.
After Auschtitz I, we went to Birkenau, the second of the Auschwitz camps.  This camp was built larger to house and kill more people.  Also striking to me was that the train tracks ran right through the main gate, and ended inside the camp.  There was no need for the tracks to continue, because people were not going to be leaving alive.

At Birkenau, they let you tour the barracks, which shows just how horrible the living conditions were for prisoners.  Wooden beds, drafty buildings, stables built for animals.  It was unbelievable really.

It is hard to fathom the volume of people who were killed here.  The numbers for Poland alone are staggering.  1/5 of the Polish population died during World War II.  Of the 3,500,000 Jews living in Poland before the war, only 300,000 remained.  Most of these were deported to other countreis after the war ended.  Today, only 10,000 Jews live in all of Poland.

 The museum does an amazing job showing you physical objects to give you an idea of what it means that over 1.2 million people were killed here.  One of the worst things that I saw was a room full of human hair.  Mounds and mounds of hair that was shaven from the heads of people killed and used to make blankets and uniforms for the Nazis.  There were similar rooms filled with other belongings brought by the victims–clothing, dishes, shoes, eye glasses, hair brushes….thousands of these items represent the people whose lives were pointlessly taken by other human beings.  I couldn’t bring myself to take photographs.  Not that I need them.  These images are forever etched into my brain.
The people who told me that Auschwitz would be terrible and hard and exhausting were right.  It was all of those things.  It was also something that changed my perspective on life.  If you ever have the chance to go, take it.  I firmly believe that this is something everyone should see.

Happy Birthday, Amy!

17 years ago (!), two girls moved into a dorm room in the basement of Bennett Hall. The RA told us that friends who come to college and room together never leave college as friends. She may have known the stats…but she didn’t know us.

We’ve done football games and Calf Fries and lots of nights at the Penny. We’ve run races and danced nights away and sang karaoke. We’ve stood by each other at weddings and funerals and holding babies. We’ve been there for bachelorette parties, proposals, and birthdays.

I’m so grateful that silly RA was so wrong. Happy birthday, Amy!

Cover to Cover: The Bible in a Year with The Bible Recap

For years, I have wanted to read the entire Bible. I started a hundred times and quit. Then…enter Tara-Leigh Cobble and The Bible Recap.

If I chose a person of the year like Time Magazine does, it would for sure be TLC! I cannot tell you enough what Tara-Leigh’s faithfulness and sacrifice to create this resources has done in my life. I am forever grateful.

Also enter, my friend Rebecca, who previously read the Bible in a year and convinced me this was, in fact, doable.

So, on January 1, I set out in this journey determined I would succeed. I devoted about 20 minutes per day for reading (or listening to The Bible App read) the daily scripture and then listening to Tara-Leigh offer a short recap is what we just read.

On December 31, I read the final chapter. I’ll be honest and tell you that of all the things I have done in my life, this ranks up there with those of which I am the most proud.

So…what did I learn about God that I did not know on December 31, 2018 before I read the entire Bible?

1. What God requires, he provides. Look at Abraham and Isaac just as an example–God requires a sacrifice and he provided the lamb in place of Isaac. So many other examples.

2. In the Old Testament, God dwelt in the arc of the covenant, rather than in the hearts of believers as the Holy Spirit does now. What a blessing we easily overlook!

3. The reason for all of the laws in the Old Testament was to allow God to dwell among the people. Despite their best efforts (and sometimes terrible effort), the people could not keep all the laws–their sacrifices were just not sufficient. That’s why we needed Jesus.

4. What the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good. Look at Joseph. Look at Esther. (Two of my favorite stories!)

5. It’s so easy to be critical of others when we do the same things. Reading about the Israelites in the wilderness I just kept thinking, “Good gracious how can you be so quick to forget all God has done for you?! How can you complain in the face of so many blessings?” And I should be asking myself those same questions every. single. day.

6. Our time here on earth is our only chance to have faith. Once we go to Heaven, we will see and know and be with God. We will not need faith then–faith is hope of what we do not see. Don’t waste this opportunity.

7. Don’t let the Bible scare you. Remembering all of the dates and lineages and tribes and all the names (that are so much alike!)…that was overwhelming for me. Tara-Leigh tells you up front not to focus on that. It’s not some sort of memorization test like the bar exam. Every day, we looked to see what we can learn about God’s character. And Tara-Leigh shares her “God shot” every day. Even when you are deep in the weeds of the laws in Leviticus.

Lastly, I have said this recently in another context and I will say it again quoting Kevin Queen, “God will bless the pilgrimage.” I did not do this perfectly. Some days I was just trying to get through. I wish I could spend hours in the word each day studying and journaling and focusing…a lot of days all I could muster was to listen while multi-tasking on something else. But I believe–no, I know–that He has blessed my imperfect pilgrimage.

Do you want to join and do this in 2020?

Just download The Bible app. Then search in the app for The Bible Recap reading plan and choose to start. That will give you your daily reading assignment. You can read in your own Bible, in the app, or have the app read it for you. After you read, you go to your podcast app and search for The Bible Recap. Subscribe. Each day, you will listen to the recap for that day’s reading. Simple as that. Message me if you have any questions.